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Dear Sister and Brother in the Lord:
Last week I explained that when someone we love dies we
are thrown into a whirlpool of turbulent emotions and spiritual
suffering. Yet, the Church has sacred rites that can lead us through
these ‘dark nights’. The burial rites of the Church: the Vigil,
Funeral liturgy and Committal each with its own distinct character
and purpose aid us on our journey to healing and wholeness. They are
precious gifts during times of heartbreak, bereavement and loss.
The Vigil, or wake, is for many the first opportunity to
express their sorrow. In a society that says we should be happy everyday
and all the time, this is sometimes difficult. The rites are very
simple. The Church through a deacon or priest leads the people in an
opening prayer, a short reading, sometimes a brief reflection and then
the prayers of petition. But oftentimes the Vigil is more than that. It
can be a time to share stories, the good times and bad, the laughter and
tears, the gifts, good deeds, talents and foibles of the one we love.
It’s like putting together a puzzle or weaving a beautiful tapestry;
we all come with pieces we have shared and that together comprise the
life of the deceased. In the wisdom of the Church, those gathered are
encouraged to share these stories and to use the opportunity to remember
and give thanks to God for the person that has so touched and changed
the lives of family, relatives, friends and neighbors. This is the time
and opportunity to set up pictures, DVD’s of the loved one, and to play
music that the deceased liked. It’s a time to recall the hobbies,
interests, likes and dislikes of the one who has died—to cherish the
memories, events and things that made the deceased unique and special.
It’s also the time to read the obituary or to eulogize the person we
loved. This can be a healing time for those who are hurting.
The second step the Church provides is the Funeral
liturgy—for a baptized Catholic, this is usually a Mass. In this step
the focus shifts somewhat from an emphasis on the deceased to God’s
saving works through Jesus Christ. At Mass we gather to give thanks
to God for all that He has done for us through Jesus’ saving death and
resurrection. It’s an opportunity to reaffirm our belief, firm trust,
and sincere hope in God’s love and mercy for the deceased—and for all.
We gather with the whole Church—those on earth, in heaven and those
being purged and purified—all the angels and saints uniting as one body
to offer praise and thanksgiving for a God who loves us more than we can
possibly imagine or comprehend. The Funeral liturgy is our proclamation
that we celebrate life, not death; a beginning, not an end; a brief
farewell and not a permanent goodbye. When we place ourselves in a
position to be touched by God in the Sacred Liturgy it can make all the
difference in the world. The holy mysteries we celebrate at Mass put us
in contact with God who comforts us by His presence.
The final step—the last concrete act we can do for our
loved in this world—is the Committal, the burial or interring of our
loved one’s remains. In this final act we take the deceased to a place
where he or she can rest with family members and members of our faith
family, our Catholic sisters and brothers who have gone before us. The
committal of the one who has died is the final sign that asserts our
acknowledgement that we are not just a family in this life but also in
death and in the life to come. The
relationships, bonds and connections that we build in life are not ended
or broken apart in death. They continue beyond this life and are just as
strong, just as significant and important and just as
real
as they were in life.
Sometimes we can fall prey to the false belief that
everything is just between God and me. But this is not true! God calls
us as a people. He saves us as a people and sustains us as a people—His
People, the Church. Resting in consecrated ground and a holy place is a
profound statement of that belief. We ARE family—death doesn’t change
that. In addition, for those left behind the cemetery can be a
comforting place, one that brings peace and eases one’s sense of loss.
Many of us need to be with the one we loved, to remember the good times
and the impact the person made in our lives, to converse with and pray
for them, to offer thanks to God for him or her. We can take great
solace in the fact that God loves
them even more than we do, as hard as
that is to believe or accept. To be in the Lord’s loving embrace is what
the deceased had always longed for and where they had desired to be. It
is the very best place they can be. A cemetery, especially a Catholic
cemetery reminds us of all of this.
In the end the burial rituals
of the Church, the Vigil, Funeral liturgy and Committal remind us in a
very provocative way that IT’S NOT ABOUT US. This is Good News.
It’s Good News because if it were about us then we would be in real
trouble. If everything in this life were in our hands then we could
never share in eternal life. If we had to do everything right or earn
our way—it would be impossible!
It’s precisely because God
is God and we are not that we can rest in His loving arms. It’s the
safest place we could be-in this life and especially in the next. It
really isn’t about us after all; it’s about God and one another. |
